Wearing black opaque tights: I am a sleek and sexy puma of a woman
Wearing any other colour of opaque tights: I teach art at the gnome school
— Georgia Wags (@georgialikesto) September 6, 2018
Fake pockets in women’s slacks are the pantriarchy. Thank you.
— The Volatile Mermaid (@OhNoSheTwitnt) July 13, 2018
Sorry I canceled our plans, I’m at an in between hair length right now.
— Alison Leiby (@AlisonLeiby) September 13, 2018
— Emma Gray (@emmaladyrose) October 4, 2018
here i am seconds after i’ve cut my own bangs pic.twitter.com/LuwlWuSbr8
— Anne T. Donahue (@annetdonahue) April 18, 2018
rompers: for when your life is too easy and you want a fun challenge every time you pee!
— Karen Chee (@karencheee) June 28, 2018
ask me when I’m getting married and imma ask you when you getting promoted. Since people love asking trick questions pic.twitter.com/lipx9ixSOz
— La Bronze James (@jackieaina) October 5, 2018
me when a girl compliments me vs me when a boy compliments me pic.twitter.com/L6Ps8yGIol
— saddy (@lesbihayley) September 7, 2018
I am SUPER chill unless I’m hungry, overheated, running late, waiting in a long line, in traffic, at the doctor, on a beach, getting a massage, having a cocktail, sleeping,
— Kendra Alvey (@Kendragarden) July 31, 2018
Birth control depression is so real… I’m always an emotional sack of shit. I’m seriously out in my car crying real tears right now because my iced coffee wasn’t made right and the girl at the drive thru window didn’t even say “you too” when I said have a good night
— amanda (@amanda_c_rae) October 5, 2018